It Goes On

It Goes On
Twisted and torn.
Confused and mixed-up.
Big decisions.
No matter what,
Someone is hurt.
I am, every time.
Want someone.
Want to be alone.
Scared of the silence.
Terrified of the sound.
Thought I had everything.
Emotions lie.
Love withdraws.
Pain is ever-present.
Everything hurts,
Inside and out,
Emotions and body.
Disoriented and lost.
In need of a beacon,
A bouy.
No one is there,
No one is deep enough,
Steady enough, to hold a wave like me.
I want too much,
Demand what can't be given.
Need space but crave touch.
Fiery passion one second,
Cold distance the next.
I shiver in the heat.
Want them both.
Need them both.
Force myself to have neither.
Twisted psyche?
Decisions that hurt.
Words that scar.
Questions unasked.
Answers unsaid.
Sit back and watch the pain shoot,
From me,
To them,
And back.
Take it all.
Triangle of ache.
Don't know how to make it stop.
So I sit back,
And think my thoughts,
And hurt.
Hurt so bad.
It goes on.
3-30-2009